Hi,
I am now applying for my PhD in other countries. You know, gathering all necessary documents is stressful. Writing essays about your capabilities and why you deserve a spot there is even more stressful. But the most stressful of all, is asking for referee reports.
I have no idea what they will write about me. It is based on the judgement of the professors on my capability. There should be no problem if the professor has a wide perspective like for example my favorite professor (you-know-who). But if the professor is quite stupid and quite an idiot, but I have no choice but to choose him as my referee, cause the number of professors I have worked with here are few (3), one is my favorite prof, the other is the idiotic robot and the third already left.
I dont know how much of an idiot robot is. He just does not know how to read between the lines. He is sooooo dense, you just cant get through him. He is closed minded. He does not see his mistakes. And that is what will kill him in his career. Believe me.
I pity those students who will be under his supervision like me. I pray that nobody will experience this kind of situation. Can you imagine, when he went back from his business trip today, he only talked with the other members, actually he talked with everyone in his group, except me, as if i am not one of his students. And when I actually achieve something, he will actually think he is MY SUPERVISOR. and the worst is, he does not even realize he is doing this. He thinks he is doing his job. It is the same with going together during lunch time. If I go with them, he doesnt talk with me. He talks with everyone. And then, he goes asking me, what my problem is, why I dont go to lunch with them anymore? I told him I was just busy. But in my heart, I would have wanted to reply, "you idiot, you keep asking me to join you for lunch, and when I do, you fucking ignore me. "Why the hell will I join you to lunch? to make myself look stupid?!" Of course I wont say that, I dont want to say bad words to him directly... Moreover, I dont want him to talk to me during lunch just because I said so. I want it to come naturally from him. I dont want it to be forced just for me to feel good. And even then I dont feel good too, because I know that he only did it because I said so. DAMNED STUPID GUY.
Now I dont know how an idiot like him could get a PhD degree from a well-known university, how could he be so stupid?!? My God, he is already 33 or 34, by now he should be more mature. But he is not for his age. If he were not my supervisor, I would have punched him by now. Unfortunately, he is my supervisor, and so I couldnt do anything to him.
I hope one day he realizes what he is doing to me. But I dont know if that hope is even possible, with the level of ignorance he has. GRRRRRRRRR....
I told him (with a smile), that his referee report is very important criteria if i will get the scholarship abroad or not. Then he replied " if i check all positive points, it would be unrealistic, so i will evaluate you only realistically." god i feel mad. Im not saying "praise me unrealistically." what i am saying is please highlight my positive points (if he sees any at all, f*cking moron.) What I am saying is that what he says about me matters a lot and I just want him to remember that when he is filling up the form. I am not telling him to cheat the recommendation form. HOW CAN A PERSON BE SO STUPID and think that HE IS NOT STUPID?
I just needed to vent out my anger. thanks blogger for giving me this space.
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