I have been here in Japan in the same laboratory since 2010. When i first came here i brought with me the social skills i have gained from my experiences in my country. Generally, people were more inquisitive about personal lives in my country, (compared to Japanese stdudents in my lab).
Two days ago, there was a meeting in my lab that i didnt know of. Maybe i did know about it but forgot about it totally. And if things werent enough, nobody called me to search for me . I even called my professor but he didnt answer. Yeah, i felt totally ignored. And i felt depressed and sad. and i cried.
This is not the first time it happened to me in my lab. in fact it is the third? or fourth time? im not so sure anymore. But the thing is that, each time it happens to me, i feel very sad. and i try my best to remember why i am spending my life in this laboratory......
until yesterday came. I had an idea to make an extra effort to smile. Make extra effort to socialize with them. I think in my lab there is sort of a hierarchy that i am not so aware of. I am not so sure about the working culture here, but i know that it is different from where i came from. and it is not so easy to understand. Tried my best to talk to them before , but they are not really communicating back... just answering my questions... top that with my difficulty in nihonggo...
Anyway, yesterday morning i decided that i dont want to feel isolated anymore. I decided to do a different thing. Last year, i learned that there are no failures in this life. You just have to change a parameter to get the desired results you want. It is just like an experiment in the lab. You have to determine which parameter is off, which parameters are good and which ones need changing. If you can find the perfect condition, you can get what you want. And i suddenly realized too that, I dont want to be like other people who give up easily and feel depressed all the time and go crazy... or something like that. I want to fight and be strong.
Okay. So my plan is: to change the system in my lab. Yup the system. The system that Kohai and Senpai cannot be friends. This rule, this system. I want to change it. I will change it. I am changing it now.
Next question is , HOW? Well, i dont really know how. Which brings me to the actual topic of this blog. Social Skills. I found myself googling stuff like "how to be friends with coworkers" or "How to encourage someone to talk to you" or "How to be friends with someone..." and you get the gist. It seems to me that I sort of lost my social skills. seems to me that, i perhaps didnt use it for so long that i forgot the skills to socialize and now i find myself googling these stuff.... come on, eli. you werent like that before.
so anyway, my plan is to change them by doing extra. Doing extra kindness. Smiling extra smile. Being extra caring. I did all these things before but i just realized that i gave up too easily. It was because i didnt see the responses i expected and i wanted from them thats why i chickened out. But now, i bring my new self. The stronger, thicker face version of myself. This year, I dont want to be shy anymore. I will be aggressive in a good way and make them my friends and to not alienate myself.
I can hear cheers for me from my own head like "Go Go Go ELIIIIII you can do it" sure do hope so...
so since yesterday morning, i have been greeting them with extra smiles and trying my best to talk with them and not get discouraged easily. after all the battle's just starting. I will do my best and keep you posted. I will get good results i promise you. I will not give up. I am changing the system now. ;)
:) Go Go Go, Fight! LABAN is my battlecry!!! ;)
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