Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Wisdom learned from 2012.


First I figured to compile all these thoughts and give them as a year ender.  But then I realized that there is no opportune moment than now.  In the last 12 months, I have learned so many things; in fact, I prefer calling this year, my 22nd year in this Earth, “my Epiphanic year.”  I believe it is best if I share all these ideas with you, as they are begging me to get out of my head and influence others as well.

Time is not just gold.  In fact, time is more valuable than gold.  Time is your life.  Every moment which you have is a part of you which you can never bring back again.  In essence, you give pieces of you to things, skills, or people, people who know how not to value your time, and people who know how to value your time.  Sometimes, there are moments when we want to speed time or slow it down.  Sometimes, we hate a particular season in our lives.  Sometimes we hate the waiting time.  Sometimes we do not want to spend our time with a specific person.  Sometimes we hate a person that we are seeing each day. 

The bible says that there is a time for everything.  This time you say, is your time.  Time you spend getting mad or getting angry at someone is still your time.  Time, of course, is limited.  Nobody can tell how long we are going to be here in Earth.  It is therefore logical to use the time wisely and efficiently.  But as I have come to realize, not so many people know how to do this.  I believe this is actually the key to a good, and joyful life.

Einstein actually knew how to live the moment.  I agree.  That is the key.  Live at the present time.  Don't live in the future or in the past.  Don't hold that grudge at that person because of what happened.  Don't hurry to get married, or to graudate, or what have you.  Live now.  I cannot stress this enough.  Live in the present, or else, you lose part of yourself, part of your life which you can never bring back anymore.  Enjoy now.  If you think you hate what you are doing, decide to like it, because you are not going to be there forever.  Whatever you have now, it will all pass.  You wont be studying forever,  you wont be working forever.  You wont have your child bugging you forever.  You wont stay single forever.  You wont have this job forever.  Instead of thinking about how to speed time up, embrace this moment.  Think of what you can learn at this moment.  Think of how you can spend this moment efficiently and wisely and actually being there and living it.  Hate your brother? Sister? Mom? Friend? They are not going to be there forever, and you are not going to be here forever too.  Make the most out of every moment you have.  You cant get it back.

2.  Don't hate anyone.  It is better to stay in neutral ground and not be against a person.  Be against the idea, or the attitude, but never against the person.  Be at peace with everyone. 
If you cant find a reason to like someone, or you really hate this person, try to think of a common denominator between the two of you.  Every person has a good and bad side.  Even you have a good and bad side.  You learn to oversee the bad attitude of the person and instead see the positive side of the person.  See the common things between the two of you, or see why he becomes like that.  What does he lack?  Maybe he needs a friend like you.
And also, if the person does not like you, its not your fault.  You can never please everyone.  But be at peace with that person.  Give that person a gift, or a smile.  Always do the right thing, because by doing right, you will never regret anything.  Decide to do what is right and good.  It is the best way to live.  Also try this:  if you want to establish a connection between the two of you, be one with that person. Do not show you are against him, instead show him you are with him and that there is no need for him to defend himself for you.  Show him you are honest and that you are not hiding anything from him.  Show him you are harmless to him.  Show him that you are his friend.  You can do this by imitating his body gestures.  It subconsciously gives him an idea that you are not  against him and there is no need for attack.

3.  Dress properly.  In the place where I work, I once clothed myself with jeans and ordinary shirt or something like that.  First impressions of people who meet you for the first time are based heavily on how you look like.  Even if you don't admit it, you are also guilty of that.  I do not have a recommendation on which kind of clothes to wear, it is case by case.  But in my case, in the lab, I now wear slacks instead of jeans and I wear black leather shoes instead of colorful rubber shoes.  I wear quite professional clothes compared with before.  I want to be presentable all the time especially when I am in my workplace.  In the workplace, I try my best to keep a professional relationship with my coworkers, but still maintaining a level which I can establish a familiarity or friendship.

4.  Which brings me to my number 4 topic.  NETWORK.  Network is very important.  This is in relation with number 2.  People who get promoted, or who gets the news, or who gets more opportunities are people who have established a good network.  People can help you.  You cannot stand alone.  There is a saying No man is an island.  Like it or not, you needed people before, you still need people now and you will need people for the rest of your life.  The key is to convince the person to WANT to help you.  You must not do it by blackmail or by force or by money; the easiest and safest way is for you to convince them that they want to help you.  Make them see and realize why they have to help you.    People in general are very kind.  They help, but you have to know why they should help you.  You form such a network, that's why you have to keep at peace with everyone.  You never know who can help you in the future.  Don't burn your bridges.

5.  Know your identity.  This is very important in life.  I can find an example for this:  Before engaging in a relationship, you should first know yourself.  Know who you are.  Know your values.  Know your principles.  Know what you cannot compromise.  Why? Because this is how you can meet your partner.  Everyone cannot be your partner because some people do not have the same values as you.  A relationship which does not have a clear ground cannot be anchored for long.  It will be tossed by the waves and the winds when the storm comes.  Know what you are standing for.  Know what you are living for.  Enjoy being with yourself.  You are very precious.  Why would anyone want to be with you if you cant stand being with yourself?  Spend time thinking and listening to your thoughts.  Spend some time alone.  Go on a dinner with yourself.  Talk to yourself.  Know who you are.  Know your principles in this life.  These are the ones which will guide you in all the decisions you will have to make, even the toughest decisions.  When you know your principles, you will know what to do.  When you know your principles,

6.  Happiness is always a CHOICE.  You can choose to be happy even when you cannot find a reason to be happy.  That is not being crazy at all.  To be happy, you should choose to be happy. 

7.  For the high school student:  don't know what course to take up for your higher education?  For the people who are choosing a job:  don't know what job you will take?  Get guidance from people you trust, for example: your parents.  If your parents recommend a certain college course to you, consider what they are trying to tell you.  If you are convinced that what they want for you is good, (which in most cases is what parents want)  please follow them.  And don't worry about not loving the subject because similar to happiness, loving something, or someone for that matter, is also a choice.  Most of the people in this world do not know what they want.  I mean, in one occasion, you want ice cream, and when you finally got the ice cream you want a burger.  The grass is always greener on the other side.  You never know what you want.  Not liking your current status and imagining what life is like if you chose…?  That's nonsense.  I tell you, if ever you chose that other path, you will have some things that you will not like in that path.  In fact, wherever you go, you will find something in your way to rant about.  If you cant find that its either your life is so peaceful, or it is completely boring.  In every good movie, there’s always the antagonist, right?  There is always a problem we have to solve.  You will always wonder , “what if this… or what if that…”  You know they key to that?  The key to that is to CHOOSE TO LOVE what you are doing.  Choose to love your status now.  Choose to see the best things you have because others are trying to see what if they were in your position.  To love something, you should choose to love it.

8.  Imagine.  Visualize.  Visualize what you want to happen.  Imagine that is is happening now.  See that it is so real, in fact, so real that you almost thought it is real.  Imagine clearly it is happening now and say it aloud.  Einstein once said that the true indication of genius is not knowledge but imagination.  I agree.

9.  READ people.  I learned to read people this year.  I learned to read how they are, their personality, their character.  I know how to make them my friend.  I read them by their actions, their facial expression.  I read them by their words.  I have come to realize that reading a person is very helpful all the time in all cases. 

10.  I learned to love my country.  Not that I didn't love my country before.  But I learned to see it in a new light.  I learned to look at it from a different angle.  I learned how lucky I am because I realized how much my country needs me.  I have formed my mind to go back after finishing my studies abroad.  I have formed in my mind the help that my country needs.  And I will not disappoint my country.  It would be too unfair of me if I just go away when my country needs me the most.  I will do my best.

11.  God. This year, I had a lot of questions about God.  I believe in God.  Actually, no, I am SURE there is a God.  But it is his nature which I could not understand.  There is a God, and there is an afterlife.  But what lies ahead I do not know.  I have a lot of questions about how to be saved, or about Gods will.   I am quite pleased that I am thinking about this.  But sometimes I get so confused.  It seems that it is impossible to understand all these things.  Sometimes, there seems to be no answers at all. I hope I could find satisfaction with the things I will think about regarding this.  I might have a post on this.

12.  Always do the right thing.  If you are sure you are right and you love what you do, FIGHT for it.  Protect your dream.  Never give it up.

13.  There is no such thing as FAILURE.  Life is filled with second chances.  I see life like an experiment in the laboratory.  If you fail to get your target compound in the first time, try again.  But this time, change something.  You cannot expect a different result if you do the same thing again.  If in the second time, you changed something and still didn't get your target, change another parameter.  Maybe the one you changed was not the thing you were supposed to change.  The good thing is, in life, you can try as much as you want.  Change what you are doing until you get to where you want to be.  

14. If you want people to follow you, or follow a certain law, the environment must be conducive so that the people will naturally do it.    For example, if you want people to stop jaywalking, you should put the pedestrian crossing lines in areas where it is easy and quite natural for the people to cross.  Otherwise they will find other areas to cross which is the most convenient.  People always try to make their lives convenient.  So if you want them to follow a certain law, make it convenient for them to follow. Make the environment conducive to following that rule you want to impose.  It also applies with other areas.

15.  Education is important.  If a person gets truly educated, he should want to be educated more.  If he truly learned something, he will be even more curious and ask more as if the thirst for knowledge and search for truth cannot be quenched by asking only a few questions.  I think this is the mistake in today’s education system.  Today in my university here, We get an average of three exams per semester and one final exam and that’s it.  It is as if learning is anchored only to those three paper exams.  But learning is more than just paper.  It is imagination.  It is critical thinking.  It is like waking up and finding more and more that you are in love with your craft.  When I become a professor, I don’t want my students to get three exams.  I only want one exam per semester, and the rest of the time I want to implement some experiments or exercises where I can evaluate whether they really learned something or not.  I could not exactly yet pinpoint what kind of exercises these are but I will think about them.

 I look forward to getting more realizations in 2013.  Of course sharing it with you would be awesome.  

Happy 2013! :)

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