Social Skills

One of my goals for 2013 is to be more outgoing and not so shy (am i even shy?) No, seriously.  I mean, my close friends and family will know that i am a crazy girl.  Others, would have no idea i was that kind of person.  Especially my lab mates.  a.k.a. coworkers.  

I have been here in Japan in the same laboratory since 2010.  When i first came here i brought with me the social skills i have gained from my experiences in my country.  Generally, people were more inquisitive about personal lives in my country, (compared to Japanese stdudents in my lab).  

Two days ago, there was a meeting in my lab that i didnt know of.  Maybe i did know about it but forgot about it totally.  And if things werent enough, nobody called me to search for me .  I even called my professor but he didnt answer.  Yeah, i felt totally ignored.  And i felt depressed and sad. and i cried.

This is not the first time it happened to me in my lab.  in fact it is the third? or fourth time? im not so sure anymore.  But the thing is that, each time it happens to me, i feel very sad.  and i try my best to remember why i am spending my life in this laboratory......

until yesterday came. I had an idea to make an extra effort to smile.  Make extra effort to socialize with them.  I think in my lab there is sort of a hierarchy that i am not so aware of.  I am not so sure about the working culture here, but i know that it is different from where i came from.  and it is not so easy to understand.  Tried my best to talk to them before , but they are not really communicating back... just answering my questions... top that with my difficulty in nihonggo...

Anyway, yesterday morning i decided that i dont want to feel isolated anymore.  I decided to do a different thing.  Last year, i learned that there are no failures in this life.  You just have to change a parameter to get the desired results you want.  It is just like an experiment in the lab.  You have to determine which parameter is off, which parameters are good and which ones need changing.  If you can find the perfect condition, you can get what you want.  And i suddenly realized too that, I dont want to be like other people who give up easily and feel depressed all the time and go crazy... or something like that.  I want to fight and be strong.  

Okay.  So my plan is:  to change the system in my lab.  Yup the system.  The system that Kohai and Senpai cannot be friends.  This rule, this system. I want to change it. I will change it.  I am changing it now.

Next question is , HOW?  Well, i dont really know how.  Which brings me to the actual topic of this blog.  Social Skills.  I found myself googling stuff like "how to be friends with coworkers" or "How to encourage someone to talk to you" or "How to be friends with someone..." and you get the gist.  It seems to me that I sort of lost my social skills.  seems to me that, i perhaps didnt use it for so long that i forgot the skills to socialize and now i find myself googling these stuff.... come on, eli.  you werent like that before.  

so anyway, my plan is to change them by doing extra.  Doing extra kindness.  Smiling extra smile.  Being extra caring.  I did all these things before but i just realized that i gave up too easily.  It was because i didnt see the responses i expected and i wanted from them thats why i chickened out.  But now, i bring my new self.  The stronger, thicker face version of myself.  This year, I dont want to be shy anymore.  I will be aggressive in a good way and make them my friends and to not alienate myself.  

I can hear cheers for me from my own head like "Go Go Go ELIIIIII you can do it" sure do hope so...

so since yesterday morning, i have been greeting them with extra smiles and trying my best to talk with them and not get discouraged easily. after all the battle's just starting.  I will do my best and keep you posted.  I will get good results i promise you.  I will not give up.  I am changing the system now. ;)

:)  Go Go Go, Fight!  LABAN is my battlecry!!! ;)

(Probably) my last required class for graduate school

Yesterday I had my final exam on structural organic chemistry class, probably my last class in grad school. It would be great if my last class had been a lot exciting, with a twist of drama in the end or a lot of jokes.... But actually, yesterday's class was nothing of that sort, I would never had imagined that I would be dozing off in the last class. In my two years of master's course, I had a lot of different classes: molecular nanotechnology, physical organic chemistry, organic chemistry reactions, , advanced physical chemistry, advanced chemistry for material science, frontier nanoscale materials, etc... And for almost each class, sure, I fell asleep sometimes. But the yesterday's class was the worst and most embarrassing one. Before having the final exam my professor decided to add a little bit of lecture. While he was having the lecture I almost really fell into deep sleep. or was I sleeping? The last thing I know is that I heard the words singlet... And triplet... And I couldn't remember anything anymore. and my eyelids were heavy as hell. I couldn't get to open them for 3 seconds... Unfortunately, I was sitting at the front and center of the classroom. I was the only student sitting in that row, no other students were sitting in front of me. Sure, my professor probably saw my poor face almost sleeping... And that's embarrassing because he is my boss, my professor in the lab where I work in. I think at that point when he saw my face, he. Stopped the lecture and started to give out exam questionnaire. So well, in a way I was probably the reason why he stopped the lecture. Just embarrassing.


I forgot to mention than everyone was sleeping in the class and one student almost fell off his chair while sleeping in this class. I'm not bored just sleepy. And other students were worse than me because for the whole Smeester they just slept. but it is still embarrassing for me because this is my big boss talking. My. Laboratory. Boss.

The final exam had 3 questions, none of which I studied or read. I completely studied a different topic from what came out in the exam. Talk about being lucky. So I guessed my way through all three. I made a mistake on the first one. The second one my answer was right but explanation was a bit off. Third one was hit bull's eye. Maybe I didn't do so well in my prof's class final exam. Well he said maybe I can get an S for my final score, which is the highest score... So oh well... That's it for my last class in grad school... Probably.


After class my friends and I were laughing so hard because everyone in the class were asleep in all of the sessions of this lecture class. It is just funny to attend a class where all the students are sleeping and the professor is still talking. HAHA.

But I'm sorry prof. My energy was not enough to keep me awake. Caffeine didn't work either. Before class I had the feeling I might start to doZe off so I drank black coffee pure, but to no effect. I hope he didn't think badly of me, or I hope I didn't dissapoint him r made him angry or any of those negative feelings. I still love you, my professor!

I realized that although i didn't like exam and classes so much, well, I really liked them. It came to me that this is the last class, but I would miss sleeping in class and being under pressure to study for an exam or thinking of answers and just learning something. Yea , the next time it would be me who would be seeing students sleeping in my own class and trying to stay awake. Hahahah. I can't experience it anymore. I was actually considering enrolling in another class after i finish my post doc just to feel that again. It occurred to me that, when I finish school finally, I would miss all the things which happened, even the things which I hated. ;-) I love school.